A new year, a new outlook?

Happy New Year everyone! May it bring you wonderful things... luck, joy, contentment, success, etc.

It turns out I was far more worried than I needed to be about telling my advisor. I received a congratulations and even a plethora of advice (on childcare, etc.)! Needless to say I hope my productivity lives up to expectations so that this positive trend of interactions continues.

Speaking of productivity, I'm wondering what will happen to my undergraduate students who I mentor in the lab when my little person is born. I was thinking of still meeting with them weekly while I'm on maternity leave, but I'm not sure if this is realistic. If I leave the baby with my husband for a couple hours between nursings, can I go into campus? Will having an episiotomy prevent me from being mobile for a couple weeks? So many questions and frankly I have no idea what's realistic to expect. Any experienced advice from other women out there is welcome. I really don't want to leave my undergrads feeling as if I've abandoned them.

I also wonder how the arrival of a new little person (/ huge part) of my life will affect my outlook on jobs, science, etc. I know so many talented, career-oriented women who stopped in their career tracks and chose to focus on their family. Is a switch going to get flipped in me too? Of course I realize I'm not suddenly going to be a maternal robot without capacity to make a rational decision, but I also assume having a child will have a very very large impact on my life outlook.

Is there really an ideal job for a female scientist who wants time with her family? Is either academia or industry better suited for this? I have mixed opinions at this time, and may post on them later.

This ain't no 40 hr/wk job

One of the youngest women in our lab came to me recently with a question about work hours in graduate school. She said that one of the postdocs in our lab had told her that as a graduate student she should be working 14-hour days. She said that he had said this to her on more than one occasion, and it made her feel bad about herself. (Note: I have no idea how many hours this young woman actually works.)

I told her that she should set her own metric and make sure she was proud of herself (this works well for driven, smart people, which she seems to be), but that didn't mean there was a certain number of hours that she needed to meet to be "good enough." I also told her a story that a faculty member had shared with me about how in grad school she was in lab less than some of the men in her group, but then again those guys liked to "shoot the breeze" and play cards while in lab, so she ended up being significantly more productive even though she was in lab less. I also told her I thought that the postdoc's advice would be better suited for those grad students who never show up in lab (the unfortunate, lazy few).

I think what annoyed me most about this whole situation is that I know postdoc X who had tried to guilt trip this young woman had felt rather unhappy through most of his graduate school experience. He had confessed on a separate occasion to me that he felt that he missed out on a lot. So why would he then encourage this same compulsion in someone else?

My feeling on the matter is that some (competitive) people are overly concerned about hours worked (I remember a guy in grad school who only ever seemed interested in reporting to me the number of hours he had spent in lab last week). Young grad students are very interested in proving that they're working hard, which is great. But if you are hoping that someone (even your advisor) will take notice and praise you for your long hours, you will likely be disappointed. People are impressed by output which, as I have seen time and time again, does not always correlate with hours spent in lab. That being said, fundamental research is time-consuming, and I have yet to meet anyone who can do it successfully in 40 hours a week. But as with anything else, if you're enjoying it, and if you allow yourself to be driven by excitement instead of stress, this will not be a significant issue. Part of maintaining excitement is realizing that there is more to life, and that you're allowed to (and should!) pursue things that matter to you outside of lab.

So set your goals high, but realize that you are allowed to enjoy the rest of your life (friends, hobbies, etc.) too! Science and academia can and should be part of a balanced, happy, interesting life.